I had a rough childhood, but not in the way a lot of people think when someone says that. I wasn’t a rough kid. Quite the opposite, I was a timid boy who didn’t do the rough stuff a lot of boys do. It was rough for me because I lived in a highly dysfunctional family with two males who thought that being rough was the same as being a man.

Things weren’t like that for me. I viewed myself as clumsy, awkward, weak, and even effeminate. The two males in my family, my stepfather and my stepbrother, often used the word “sissy” to describe me. In my mind, even though I protested, I believed it to be true. (more…)

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The Unattractiveness of Neediness
Inasmuch as You Desire a Companion

Copyright 2013, Inner Vessel Productions.

Two values have been high in my priorities all of my life. I strive daily for both: Freedom and Peace. These values not only inform my choices about myself but also my choices about my relationships. For me, they are at the heart of Mormonism, freedom being the basis of the plan of salvation as we understand it and peace being the reward of faithfulness and obedience. (more…)

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A Matter of Courtesy
The Key to My Peace

Copyright 2013, Inner Vessel Productions.

 

Tunnels	Surprise	An Excellent Question
Stopping Contact	Resentment and Comparison	What Am I Really Doing?

For some reason, certain Domain Name System (DNS) servers where not recognizing any of my websites. It was a localized problem. The sites were visible elsewhere, just not with certain Internet Service Providers (ISP).

I hate it when that happens. Sometimes my own ISP’s DNS provider drops my servers and i can’t get to my own websites. I figured out that was the problem when I couldn’t reach my web site from my desktop but could from my smart phone.

I solved the problem by using Google’s DNS servers at 8.8.8.8 and 8.8.4.4. If you don’t know what any of this means and you have trouble getting to certain websites, google DNS Servers. It has made a big difference in my work

So last week, I wrote a trilogy of blog posts about avoiding infidelity. I got a lot of reports that people couldn’t see them due the problem described above.  I’m posting this synopsis of them so people that couldn’t see them last week might get a look.

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Tunnels
Surprise
An Excellent Question

Copyright 2013, Inner Vessel Productions.

I once heard in an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, where I was attending as a support to a client, that alcohol is cunning, baffling, and powerful. I’ve heard the same thing in other twelve-step groups I’ve attended. I am certain that the same could be said of sexual addiction.

(more…)

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Did You Think to Pray?
Tunnels
Surprise
Infidelity Trilogy

Copyright 2013, Inner Vessel Productions.

A common excuse given by someone who has committed adultery is, “I don’t know how it happened. It just did.” While I might accept that it could be true sometimes, I don’t think it usually is for most cases.

I know this because I’ve been in situations of my own making where something bad could happen and really wanted to believe that how I got there was a total surprise.  I’m not talking about adultery in this example, just the general idea that you can find yourself in all sorts of hazardous situations and want desperately to make people believe you didn’t know how you got that far. I’ve wanted myself to believe it too. (more…)

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Tunnels
Infidelity Trilogy
An Excellent Question

Copyright 2013, Inner Vessel Productions.

I’ve heard it a hundred times. Whether here on LDSR, on Clean-LDS, with friends, and in other support systems where infidelity arises as an issue, priesthood leaders usually insist that all contact be stopped. Yet, those who have found themselves in these situations often do not understand and will resist committing to stopping contact with the other person. (more…)

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Surprise
Infidelity Trilogy
An Excellent Question

Copyright 2013, Inner Vessel Productions.

“Now the serpent was more subtil than all the beasts of the field (Genesis 3:1).”

So says the Bible about the serpent in the creation story, whom we now call Satan or Lucifer. It is interesting to me that the word, “subtil” (as spelled in the King James Version) or the word “subtle” (as we spell it today), refers to a fine, delicate fabric, the feel of which on the skin is nearly imperceptible. (more…)

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Repentance/12 Steps Comparison
Quitting. Again.

Copyright 2013, Inner Vessel Productions.

After months of trying to decide what to do about the support forums here at LDSR, I have succeeded in writing software to interface with the WordPress bulletin board system, bbPress. At last, the Daily Journal and Spouse Support forums are back being available. (more…)

See Also

Four Principles of Support
Instruments
The Supremacy of the Personal
Principles of Respect
When You’re Done Fighting Alone
The Last Thing a Friend Should Do
Inasmuch as You Desire a Companion
The Unattractiveness of Neediness
How to Be a Successful Newbie on LDSR
Introducing LDSR Mobile

Copyright 2013, Inner Vessel Productions.

For many years, LDSR has been a place where Latter-day Saints affected by sexual addiction have been able to get support from others in similar circumstances. In the past three or four years, participation has been dwindling and now is down to nothing in a very long time. I had in mind to just discontinue the support forums and just keep the literature and blog intact. (more…)

Copyright 2013, Inner Vessel Productions.

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Copyright 2013, Inner Vessel Productions.