Help. Hope. Healing.

Moments of Decision

In order for any of this to work, we have to be willing to learn. I find that the most change-resistant personality is the one who operates in his world with inflexibility. I don’t think that the quote about insanity is accurate. I think it is more accurate to say that the definition of stubbornness is always doing the same thing the same way and expecting God to alter the universe to accommodate what you insist on repeating.

Don’t Lock Horns With the Devil

Kevin thought he was addicted to pornography. “I must be. I’ve tried so hard to stop. I’ve worked for the last five years at it, and yet I still can’t kick the habit completely.” When I talked to him about his approach, it sounded like he was doing almost everything right. He had opened up […]

The Last Thing a Friend Should Do

Sometimes, when people ask your advice, they already know what they think they should do about it. When you hear what they are planning, and it isn’t a good idea, the euphemistic thing to say about it is, “That’s the last thing you should do.” What you really mean to say is, “Don’t do that.” […]

Rebuilding Trust

Sex Addiction Recovery Tips from Mark Chamberlain, Ph.D. Rebuilding Trust Rebuilding trust, particularly with one’s spouse, can be one of the greatest challenges in the process of recovering from a sexual addiction. There are many reasons for this. A spouse who has been deceived and wronged is understandably hesitant to open her or his heart […]

Focus on Changing Our Hearts, Not Just Our Behavior

Sex Addiction Recovery Tips from Mark Chamberlain, Ph.D. Focus on Changing Our Hearts, Not Just Our Behavior Imagine that you are determined to circle the globe in a rocketship, and you could choose between two different ways of doing it. Here’s the first option: you could expend enough fuel at the outset to project yourself […]

Change the Way You Do Your Compulsive Behavior

Sex Addiction Recovery Tips from Mark Chamberlain, Ph.D. Change the Way You Do Your Compulsive Behavior We have all made commitments to abstain from tempting behavior. We have also broken such promises–promises to ourselves, promises to our loved ones, and even promises to God. Rather than asking you to promise again, “I won’t do it!” […]

Overcoming Discouragement One Day at a Time

Sex Addiction Recovery Tips from Mark Chamberlain, Ph.D. Overcoming Discouragement One Day at a Time We have no greater right to focus on ourselves when we have been struggling and doing poorly in response to temptation than we do to focus on ourselves when we have been doing well. Both are forms of pride: the […]

Interrupting Destructive Mind-Shifts

Sex Addiction Recovery Tips from Mark Chamberlain, Ph.D. Interrupting Destructive Mind-Shifts When I met Arnold, he had been working for years to overcome his compulsive sexual behavior. There had been periods of progress. Arnold would repent, get his life back on track and then abstain from addictive behavior for a period of time. Notwithstanding these […]

Cultivating a Higher Appreciation and a Deeper Desire

Sex Addiction Recovery Tips from Mark Chamberlain, Ph.D. Cultivating a Higher Appreciation and a Deeper Desire During our first counseling session, one of my clients described his vulnerability to sexual temptation this way: “I have an especially powerful appreciation for female beauty and the female body.” Be the first to like. Like Unlike See Also […]

Becoming Pure Again

Sex Addiction Recovery Tips from Mark Chamberlain, Ph.D. Becoming Pure Again Abstaining from compulsive behavior becomes easirer and easier over time. I recently completed psychotherapy with a client named Rosco after nine months of working together, and it was interesting to hear him describe how temptation’s power over him had gradually decreased throughout that period. […]