Help. Hope. Healing.


How to Be a Successful Newbie on LDSR

Coming to LDSR is something usually done in a mixture of sadness and hope. The sadness usually comes from yet another experience where we thought we had our sexual behavior under control, but didn’t. The hope is that an LDS oriented environment will be the trick that will make this time different, that this time will be the time that will work. Perhaps there is even some magical thinking involved – just coming to this website will miraculously heal us right away, and we can be all better from now on until forever. We want to find useful ideas and support from people who have been where we are and who know the secrets to recovery, sobriety, and maybe even cure.

Some of those things are possible, and some of them aren’t. The purpose of this article is to help you get the most value from the resources on LDSR you can.

The first thing that will help you get the most value from the resources on LDSR is to prepare yourself to return to the site repeatedly and often. You can get a little benefit by reading over the resources here one time and applying them to your life, but you can get a great deal more by participating here over a period of time, receiving and giving support from and to others who share your struggles. Sometimes you will feel like your time here is wasted, but this is only true if you stop coming.

With that thought in mind, the next thing that will bring you success is to read over the material on the blog daily. It will take a while to read over all of the posts, so look at some of the older ones and some of the newer ones until you’re totally caught up. Rex is moving most of the articles from the LDSR site to the blog so they can be commented on and responded to, so comment on them and respond to them. Ask questions. Even questions that seem dumb are useful if they are sincere, and they will help others who have had the same questions but not yet asked them. The blog posts will help you understand the perspective of someone with some experience in recovery. If what they are saying seems strange or uncomfortable, stick with it anyhow and think about these things. They might be the things you need to understand to find your way to long-term sobriety.

After you have some familiarity with the material on the blog, go to the Support Forums and participate there. This is where you can write about your life and your struggles, your ups and your downs. It is also where you can help support others in their process – sometimes you will find yourself telling someone else the thing you most need to hear. The Support Forums only work when people use them, so be ready to participate there even if nobody else seems to be there at the time. If everybody waits for somebody else to say the first thing, nobody says anything, so say what you have to say so that others will have something to respond to. And don’t be upset if it takes a few days for someone else to respond – everybody here has a life outside this place, and it can take a while for them to get back. Patience is a good thing.

The next thing which will help assure you of success here is, when you find you’ve been away from the site for a time, whatever the reason for that time away was, come back and talk about it, and what’s been going on. Reconnect with the support system here. Read over the blog posts since you were gone, and maybe review some of the older ones, and respond to them where appropriate. Come back to the Support Forums and talk about what’s been going on for you. Keep coming back. You will find more success returning here than you will in staying gone.

Recovery is a process, not an event. It requires effort, and willingness, and faith, and strength. Pray for these things, because, however much of them you have, you will need to receive more and more of them. The solution to all of your life problems is to humble yourself before God and to follow the life path he has in mind for you. Life on God’s path will not be easy, but it will work better than being on any other path of your choosing. Coming here repeatedly is a way you can find support in finding and walking God’s path.